


Smitten

by Darling_Little_Troll



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24085813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Little_Troll/pseuds/Darling_Little_Troll
Summary: Smitten, a word which here means, Lemony Snicket falls for many girls and many weirdly like him. One such is his true love. But sadly for Lemony, life isn't always fairAll characters mentioned belong to Daniel Handler, and I in no way are claiming them as my own
Relationships: Beatrice Baudelaire/Lemony Snicket
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

*All characters mentioned belong to Daniel Handler, and I in no way are claiming them as my own*

Beatrice had received many secret notes at her time in the VFD, but she had never gotten one like the one she just received from Lemony Snicket.

"Is this an apology or a date invite?" She asked herself as she read it again. She blushed at the line about her being an interesting person. Then she got to the end once again and slapped her hand over her eyes. "Who thinks a good date is to get root beer floats?" Then she shrugged. "I guess he is eleven." 

She sighed and put the little note neatly in her pocket and stood up to go on her date.

Lemony sat embarrassed in his chair. He was about to get up and go to the cafe just outside the East Gate. But as soon as he got up he sat back down. "What if she decides not to go because she hates me?" He mumbled to himself as he roughly put his hand through his hair and bent into a ball in his seat. 

"Hey bud," Lemony looked up shyly to see his sister Kit looking down at him. She looked worried, "I was worried you hadn't gotten my note. Me and-" she cut off for a second and blushed "well you know who, are going to hang out. Want to come?" 

Lemony pulled his head out of his hands with a yell and snapped "Well Kit, no, no I would not like to spend time with you and Mr. one eyebrow!" 

Kit straightened her posture in surprise then relaxed. "Okay Mr. Grumpy, what's up?" 

Her younger brother began to blush and soon his whole face was red. He straightened his posture and sternly placed his hands on his legs. 

"I'm FINE!" He yelled through his teeth. 

Kit shook her head, "nope, you only act like a FOOL when something is up." She looked into his eyes, "what happened?"

Lemony looked away and tried to rub the red from his cheeks. "Okay so here's the thing," he looked up at his sister and sat bravely "I really liked this girls oral report on the history of the sonnet and I thought she was really interesting so I tried to talk to her but I think I embarrassed her in front of her friends so I wanted to apologise and I kinda maybe asked her on a date…" he then ruffle his hair aggressively. 

Kit began to laugh softly. "Are you afraid of a date?" 

Lemony took a long breathe in and sank into his seat.

"Oh Lemony...you're too cute. What a baby!" She laughed again and quickly began to write on a paper.

"HEY WHAT ARE DOING?" Lemony asked when he noticed she was writing.

"I'm just writing a note to Jacques." She said and waved him off. 

"You will not tell him about this!" 

"Oh why not?" 

"He doesn't need to know!" 

"He's had a rough week. He needs a laugh!" 

They began to fight over the note like a human waving a string over a cat.

Suddenly an awfully ugly boy with one eyebrow walked in and gave out a fake cough. Kit quickly put the note in her hair and waved bye to her brother. Lemony watched as she walked away and let out a large sigh. The clock ticked slowly.

"Okay Lemony, you can do this," he slapped his cheek, "do the scary thing first and get scared later." He stood up quickly and became dizzy. "Oh God, stand up slower next time, Snicket" he whispered to himself. 

Beatrice stood in front of the cafe door for three minutes. She was unsure why she was nervous. Maybe it was because this place sold peppermints and she was extremely allergic. Or maybe it was because the boy she was meant to see looked like he just got into a fight...and lost. She decided to leave, but as soon as she turned around she was greeted by a very large man. 

"Let me open the door for you sir." She said and held the door open with a polite smile. 

Lemony heard her voice and immediately straightened his green tie. Beatrice noticed this quickly. "Fix your hair first you fool," she thought and let out a small giggle. She apologized to the person who had just walked through the door. As soon as she was sure no one else was going to come through the door she released it and walked into the cafe and took a seat next to her date. 

" I just ordered a root beer float," Lemony said calmly. "Their floats are great, I suggest getting one." 

"Maybe I will," Beatrice thought, "that sounds nice." 

Lemony looked at her quickly as she ordered and smiled a little. "If she likes the float, maybe we could get married and serve them at our wedding." He thought. Then he shook his head. It was far too soon to be thinking of marriage. 

"So," Beatrice turned her head to look at Lemony, "what's your apology?"

"Apology?" Lemony repeated 

"Yes, you owe me an apology."

"Oh, I'm...I'm sorry I walked up to you in the middle of your conversation with R and B and told you that showing up early is the sign of a noble person. Then your friends laughed and you walked away upset." Lemony said awkwardly.

Beatrice smiled, "that sounded more like you were just describing what happened and you just happened to begin the story with 'I'm sorry'"

Lemony stared into the distance and gave a small nod. "Next time I apologise to you," he began, "I'll keep that in mind." 

"Will you take me to the park the next time you apologise?" Beatrice asked 

Lemony smiled, "if I spill ink on your nice white dress, I might just take you to the circus." 

"I'll wear it tomorrow." 

"I'll get my darkest ink." 

"It's a date." They both began to laugh as their root beer floats were served.


	2. Nervous: a word which here means; a boy may have new feelings for a girl

*All characters mentioned belong to Daniel Handler, and I in no way are claiming them as my own*

"Do you like bats?"  
Lemony heard this question but wasn't quite sure what it meant. He looked up at Beatrice and tilted his head, "what?" He asked.  
Beatrice sat down next to him and asked again, "Do you like bats?"  
"Why are you asking?" Lemony asked.  
"Because I just want to know."  
"I'm...okay with them," Lemony shrugged, then curiously asked, "Listen, is this like a Monty thing? Are you gonna open a suitcase and release a bunch of bats onto my desk?"  
"Did Monty do something like that?"  
"I...don't want to talk about it…"  
"I just wanted to ask because I love bats and wanted to know your opinion."  
Lemony moved away a little and quickly looked at Beatrice's bag.  
"What's in your bag? Please I'm only eleven, I can't handle much surprise."  
Beatrice got up and showed him the contents of her bag. "You're such a weirdo, Snicket." She laughed and went to sit with her friends.  
"Weirdo?" Lemony repeated. "Great, she thinks I'm weird!" He then decided to hate his life and accepted his lonely future. "I bet she'll get married to someone handsome and charismatic, and I'll be lonely and maybe even a criminal. I don't know what crime I'd commit, but it'll be a big one!"  
"That is why reptiles are the way to go my friend." Another voice said from behind him.  
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR SNAKES, MONTY!" Lemony yelled quickly.  
"It's only advice, not show and tell. I'm surprised you're still alive after what happened last time you saw a snake." Monty replied.  
He suddenly sat down and got close, "do you like Beatrice?" He asked quickly  
Lemony thought for a second. "As a friend my dear reptile lover, as a friend. We are only eleven." He replied.  
"You are so boring!" Monty groaned. "Girls like boys all the time!"  
"Do you think Beatrice likes me?"  
"..."  
"Well?"  
"..."  
"Monty?"  
"Ah! an instructor!"  
Suddenly Monty looked to the front of the class and became quiet.  
The people around Lemony may have been quiet, but Lemony himself was crying on the inside. He knew Beatrice probably didn't like him; she was so great and smart and talented, and good with bats which is actually really cool when you think about it. But if she did like him, what was he supposed to do? So far the only thing he had ever loved was root beer floats!  
From across the room Beatrice was screaming inside. She had too many thoughts going through her head. "What if he thought she liked him?" Was a big one.  
After the lecture had ended, Beatrice skipped over to Lemony.  
"Are we friends?" She asked with an unsure tone.  
"I thought we were," Lemony answered. "Are we not?" He looked a little panicked suddenly.  
Beatrice smiled a little and patted his shoulder, "we are friends, Snicket, we are friends." Then she walked off to join her friends.  
"Awwww," Monty leaned forward with his head in his hand, "friendship…"  
Lemony pushed his face, "go tell sweet nothings to a snake."  
"Okay," Monty put up a finger, "I do not whisper sweet nothings to my reptiles. I just tell them I love them before they go to sleep. There's a difference!"  
"Totally, Monty, whatever you say."  
And with that, Lemony walked away while Monty grumbled with offense.  
As Lemony walked down the hall he heard the lovely voice of his sister, "L!" she called.  
"Ugh!" Lemony replied  
"Hey," Kit lightly punched his shoulder, "don't 'ugh!' me."  
Lemony sighed and moved her fist from his shoulder, "Ugh." He replied.  
Kit glared playfully and kicked him lightly.  
"Why are you so grumpy, Mr. Grumpy,"  
Lemony felt his face turn red and he breathed in deep, "OkaysoMontysaidthatgirlslikeboysallthetimeandBeatricewastalkingtomesoIthoughtshemightlikemebutwe'eractuallyjustfriendsandnowIfeelstupidandmean,"  
Kit nodded slowly, "say that again, but slowly,"  
"Okay, so Monty said that girls like boys all the time and Beatrice was talking to me. So I thought she might like me, but we're actually just friends. Now I feel stupid and mean." Lemony repeated  
Kit patted his shoulder, "oh buddy. It's fine, you just got a little mistaken. It happens to the best of us."  
Lemony nodded and smiled, "thanks," he said, then he kicked Kit in the shin and quickly ran away.  
Beatrice found herself in a bit of a jam. That jam was three snakes and one very curious boy.  
"Do you like Lemony?" Monty asked firmly.  
Beatrice looked around for an exit, but only found snake.  
"No,"  
"Why?"  
"Because I don't,"  
"Why?"  
"Why do you need to know?"  
"I don't need to know, I want to know,"  
Beatrice sighed, but answered, "because we are friends and I like someone else."  
"Who do you like?" Monty asked. His snakes all looked at her.  
Beatrice blushed, "FINE!" she looked down, "I MIGHT have a small crush on Lemony."  
Monty and his snakes all collectively let out a small hiss that meant "awwwwww, you are SO easy to break."  
Beatrice tapped her foot, "Do you know if he likes me?"  
Monty thought for a second. "Uhhhh, I think he might, he just doesn't know yet."  
Beatrice nodded. "He's a bit slow,"  
"No," Monty began, "he's just extremely foolish."


	3. Confused: A word which here means; Lemony doesn't understand romantic feelings and Beatrice doesn't know how Lemony feels

*All characters mentioned belong to Daniel Handler, and I in no way are claiming them as my own*

Jacques sat quietly as his sister and her friend-boyfriend maybe?- Sat and made fun of his younger brother. Finally he had it.  
"Kit, Olaf," he began in a roar. "Leave Lemony alone."  
Kit looked at her brother with wide eyes. "O-okay." She stuttered.  
Olaf quietly shut his mouth and acted like he wasn't about to call Lemony a baby.  
"What's wrong?" Lemony asked hesitantly.  
Jacques sighed, "I just don't think it funny," he began, "to make fun of you for liking a girl."  
Lemony heard the words "liking a girl" and immediately became red from his neck to his hairline. "WOAH WOAH WOAH!" He shouted. "I do NOT like Beatrice!"  
Jacques raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were friends,"  
Lemony became a little less red. "Oh," he understood. "You meant like her, like a friend." Lemony sighed with relief, then continued quickly. "Which is exactly how I like her...as a friend!"  
Jacques nodded slowly and was a bit concerned. "Do you," he began. "Like her in a different way?"  
"Yeah Snicket," Olaf interrupted. "Do you looooove Beatrice?"  
Kit hit the ugly boy on his head.  
Lemony stepped back, "wh-WHAT!? NO! WHY WOULD I LIKE HER IN A DIFFERENT WAY? I'M LEAVING!"  
Lemony picked up a book and his jacket and stormed out of the room. Jacques looked to Kit and they nodded to each other.  
"What does that mean," Olaf asked. "What does that MEAN?"

Beatrice was talking with her friend R on their way to their theatrics class,  
"Do you think Lemony is cute?" Beatrice asked suddenly.  
R was surprised, but thought for a moment, "I suppose he's cute in a little brother kind of way," she began. "Do YOU think he's cute?"  
Beatrice became a bit pink. R noticed this and gave a small smile. "Do you have a crush on Lemony?"  
Beatrice furrowed her brows. "NO!" she said, but continued quieter, "okay maybe."  
R poked her arm. "I'm the first person you told, right?"  
Beatrice looked away and pressed her lips tightly together. "Mmmmmmm"  
"But I'm your BEST FRIEND!"  
"MONTY WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"  
R glared "that darned boy." She stomped  
Beatrice sighed, "Monty thinks Lemony might like me back."  
R opened her mouth, "did Lemony tell him?" She asked, a bit mad. "Because I will rip out his hair. We have been friends since we got our tattoos."  
Beatrice grabbed her friend, "I don't think he told him anything." She thought a bit, "and if he does like me, it won't mean anything. He's a boy, he'd probably like the next girl he meets who gives him the time of day."  
R nodded in agreement. Then Beatrice let out a sigh and said a bit too loud, "He's so cute though!"  
"Who?" Said a familiar voice.  
Beatrice slowly turned her head to the boy who stopped walking mid step in surprise.  
She was completely silent. "Lemony?" She whispered.  
R quickly intervened. "LEMONY!" she said. "We're talking about a puppy we saw."  
She nudged Beatrice, "yes!" She agreed, "a puppy!"  
Lemony nodded. "Puppies are very cute."  
They stood quietly for a bit. "Are you guys going to your theatrics class?"  
Beatrice and R nodded.  
"Are you headed to your code class?" Beatrice asked  
"Yes," Lemony nodded, "where else would I go?"  
Beatrice began to become red with embarrassment.  
"Ike needed to speak with someone." R quickly mentioned.  
"Oh, he was asking for Josephine." Lemony clarified.  
Beatrice sighed, "my cousin always needs to double check his grammar," she began to pull at her hair. "Even though it's PERFECT!"  
Lemony began to look a bit concerned.  
R noticed and pulled Beatrice's hands from her hair. "She's just frustrated because he always makes comments."  
Lemony nodded. "Well I better get going!"  
Both the girls waved bye.  
"Oh my god he's the worst!" Beatrice gasped  
R looked at her with total confusion 

On his way to coding, Lemony heard sinister footsteps behind him. "Olaf," he thought.  
"Hey Snicket," Olaf began. "How's your girlfriend?"  
Lemony sighed, "my friend who is a girl," he began. "Is perfectly fine." He started to walk off again, but Olaf still wanted to tease.  
"I thought," he had an evil smirk on his face, "you were dating Monty."  
Lemony glared and spun around to yell at Olaf.  
"I'm dating someone?" A voice asked  
Lemony and Olaf turned to see Monty who was covered in lizards.  
Olaf wanted to go from making fun of Lemony to making fun of Monty so he said, "yeah, your snakes!" Then he ran off.  
"That boy," Monty took a lizard off his head and began petting it, "has issues."  
"Yep," Lemony nodded in agreement, "I don't understand why Kit likes him."  
Monty shrugged.  
"Maybe he has some qualities he shows to her only?"  
"Yeah…" Lemony began. "His rotting back teeth


	4. Admit; a word which here means: Lemony denies some accusations but eventually says the truth

*All characters mentioned belong to Daniel Handler, and I in no way are claiming them as my own*

"Do you like Beatrice," Monty whispered in Lemony's ear.  
Lemony jumped and covered his ear. He glared at Monty and hissed, "No.", As quietly as he could.  
Monty backed up in his chair and turned to the front, "Geez," he furrowed his brows, "I was just asking."  
Lemony let out an angry sigh, "Why would I like her?" He asked quietly.  
"You think she's cute," Monty replied.  
"I do NOT!" Lemony said a little too loud.  
Everyone turned to look at him and he became pink in the face.  
"Sorry," he said to the teacher who glared at him and cleared his throat.  
Monty began to laugh a little so Lemony punched his arm.  
After a minute Monty quietly said, "you think she's cute!"  
…  
Monty told R his theory about Lemony during break time, so she decided to wait for him so she could get him to actually say it.  
"LEMONY!" she said with glee when she saw him walk outside.  
"R?" Lemony replied.  
"So," R began, "I heard you think Beatrice is cute."  
Lemony sighed and shook his head. "No," he began, "I do not!".  
R smiled and patted his shoulder, "it's okay," she smiled and looked him in the eyes, "I also think she's cute."  
"You do?"  
"Yes," R nodded, "and so do you!"  
Lemony thought for a second, "do I think she's cute?" He asked himself. "I mean," he said out loud, "she's pleasant to look at compared to most of the people I see."  
R grinned and clapped her hands, "you think she's cuuuuuute"  
Lemony stopped her clapping, "pleasant to look at," he began, "is not the same as cute."  
"Says who?" R asked.  
"Says me!" Lemony answered  
"Well, you're wrong."  
"She's cute," Lemony admitted, "but I, personally, don't think she is."  
"You said she's cute."  
"Yes."  
"So you think she's cute."  
Lemony stood there, not knowing what to say.  
"Don't tell her I told you this," R began, "but she thinks you're cute."  
"She does?" Lemony blushed.  
"Oh yes," R smiled, "she thinks you're VERY cute."  
Lemony smiled.  
"Well, maybe I think she's a little cute."  
R smiled and nudged his arm. Lemony smiled a small smile.  
Then he saw Beatrice and looked panicked, for he maybe started feeling feelings.  
R leaned close to him and whispered, "Is your heart racing?"  
Lemony pushed her away and started stomping away.  
Beatrice noticed him and straightened her posture and cleared her throat, her voice still came out wrong. "Lemony," she croaked and cleared her throat again, "Lemony." She repeated.  
"Beatrice." Lemony said, and that was all. He stared at her face and admired her eyes. He looked like he was just spacing out.  
"Lemony?" Beatrice poked his shoulder.  
"Yes?" Lemony replied  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yes." Lemony patted her head and walked away.  
Beatrice stood confused then walked towards him.  
"Are...are you sure you're okay?"  
Lemony nodded and walked faster.  
"Are you late for something?"  
Lemony nodded again.  
"Okay," Beatrice waved, "see you later."  
R walked up next to her and patted her shoulder.  
"He's so weird," R sighed.  
"Yep." Beatrice agreed. Then she turned and looked R in the eyes, "Did you tell him something?"  
R looked everywhere except Beatrice's eyes and thought.  
"Mmmmmm, nope." She said and turned and walked away.  
Beatrice was reasonably suspicious, but she had no time to investigate and walked to her next destination.


End file.
